


I Could Be A Princess If I Wanted To Be

by cafephan



Series: Dan and Phil: The Interactive Introverts (spoiler free ii tour fics) [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, Reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 18:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14526450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafephan/pseuds/cafephan
Summary: It's the first night out of the tour, and Dan really really hates that there's a drink called The Princess.





	I Could Be A Princess If I Wanted To Be

\--

Life on tour is weird.

They thought it for TATINOF, and they still think it now. Admittedly, they’re only a couple of shows in (if that, even, Dan can’t exactly remember right now), but it’s still just as weird.

Growing up, they’d both imagined life on tour as the typical sex, drugs and rock n roll, whereas their reality is more sleeping in until their manager practically pounds down their door, late night takeaways in hotel rooms and, well, sex is an if and when situation. They like to make time for it, obviously, but it’s finding the time between last-minute rehearsals and passing out as soon as they get back at night.

But it’s the nights like these that they thrive on, when everyone is on a high from the show and everyone is laughing and smiling, and just letting their hair down.

Rounds upon rounds of shots are shared around the table (of which too many people are crammed around) and jokes and anecdotes shared, and then someone offers to get the first ‘proper’ round in and the menus are passed around. Most of the crew all opt for a beer, whereas Dan, Phil and Cornelia peruse the menu for longer, and Cornelia forbids Martyn to order without her.

“What the _fuck,”_ Dan says as his eyes skim down the menu, and he leans into Phil. “Are you seeing this?”

He points to a drink named The Princess, which Phil had already noticed and rolled his eyes at.

“Stupid, isn’t it?”

“It’s pathetic,” Dan continues, and slams the menu on the table. “Why is the world still like this?”

“I don’t know,” Phil replies, “Some places need to catch up with the rest of society.”

It’s then that Dan climbs over Phil to get out from the table, and places his hands on his hips.

“I’m getting one.”

Most people turn to face him, yet Dan is only looking at Phil.

“Getting a what?” Cornelia asks, passing over her menu to Martyn.

“A _Princess,”_ Dan practically spits out the last word.

Cornelia screws up her nose. “Gross.”

“I know.” Dan reaches to fist bump her, something Phil knows he’d never do without a fair few shots in him. Cornelia returns it with an amused grin. “Pina Colada, right?” Dan’s attention is on Phil again.

It shouldn’t surprise Phil, really, the fact Dan knows without Phil even having to look at the menu (they were supposed to be sharing one after all) his drink order.

He nods.

“Predictable as always, Lester,” he teases.

Phil playfully narrows his gaze. “Bite me.”

“Maybe later,” he smirks, and Phil immediately diverts his attention to the table to fight his blush.

“For the love of god someone _please_ get me a beer,” Martyn mutters from across the table, and Cornelia gently smacks his shoulder.

Dan flips him off and gathers Cornelia’s order before turning towards the bar.

“See you soon, Princess,” Martyn waves him off and Dan flips him off again.

Phil watches Dan go, a slight stumble in his step (he’s never been the best at handling shots) and places his hands on the bar with more force than necessary. He points towards the fluorescent menu hanging down, and the bartender says something to him that clearly he doesn’t approve of, as Dan slams his hand down on the bar and the bartender nods and turns to grab the bottles with wide eyes.

Martyn goes to help him bring the drinks back over, and upon returning Dan practically sits on Phil’s lap and cradles the glass in his hands.

“I don’t get what makes this _girly_ though _,_ ” Dan observes as he spins the glass around, and Phil rests a hand on Dan’s leg.

Phil takes a sip of his own drink and watches Dan do the same with his, and when Dan pouts, Phil fights back a smile.

“How is it?” Cornelia asks.

“It’s just another fucking cocktail!” Dan exclaims, capturing the attention of most people around them once again.

“Truly shocking,” Martyn laughs as he puts away the menus. “Why don’t you get another? Maybe you got a dud.”

Dan’s eyes widen.

“Shit, maybe you’re right.”

Phil shoots a glance at his brother, who snorts in response.

“Dan, you don’t have to-“

“No, Phil, it’s a matter of principle.” Dan chugs the rest of the cocktail and squeezes Phil’s thigh for a moment before moving off of him and standing up again. “Besides, the twat judged me so hard before when I said it was for me.”

“Hell yeah, stick it to the man!” Cornelia fist-pumps the air.

“Hang on a minute,” Phil replies whilst playfully staring her down.

She cracks up with laughter, and Dan swiftly turns and heads to the bar, Phil already knows he’ll be blushing.

All three of them watch him this time, and Martyn nearly collapses on the table laughing when Dan genuinely shouts “ _yes, the_ Princess,” and the bartender gives him a weird look before shrugging and preparing the drink.

Dan stumbles back over ( _definitely_ stumbling now) and places the drink down, sits back on Phil’s lap – shamelessly this time – and takes a sip.

“Nope, still tastes like every other fucking cocktail but with the bitter aftertaste of gender roles and the rising bile in my throat.”

“Beautiful imagery,” Cornelia laughs.

“I’m prepared to get fucking off my face on these things if it proves my point.”

“What exactly is your point?” Martyn asks between sips of his beer.

“That gender roles are _stupid_ and need to _die._ ”

Cornelia hides her laugh behind her glass and Martyn looks towards Phil.

“He’s right, though,” Phil shrugs, and Martyn holds up his hands.

“Hey, no arguments from me. I just want you to make sure he doesn’t get, and I quote, fucking off his face. Because fuck knows it won’t be you two that would have to explain it to the powers that be.”

“And with that we’re out,” Cornelia smiles and gets up, pulling Martyn up with her. “Seriously though, don’t let him get that drunk.” The last part is a whisper to Phil that Dan clearly doesn’t hear as he alternates between scowling at the single remaining menu on the table and taking a picture of it to no doubt tweet.

The rest of the crew leave with them after bidding Dan and Phil goodnight.

Phil sits back and just watches Dan, who is now scrolling on his phone.

“See? Everyone agrees with me!” He shoves his phone in Phil’s face, full of tweet replies of people indeed agreeing that the drink name is fucking stupid and gender roles should indeed die.

“Why wouldn’t they?” Phil asks, and Dan scoffs.

“Clearly _some_ people are still living in the fucking _fifties!”_ he aims this at the bartender that is obviously too far away to hear him.

Phil then has the overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around Dan, which obviously he doesn’t, Dan sitting on his lap is risky enough despite it being effectively hidden by the raised table. He instead clears his throat and finishes the rest of his own drink.

“Anything I can do?”

“There are a lot of things you _can_ do, it’s what you’re willing to do.” Dan takes a couple of big gulps from the drink and swirls the remaining liquid around at the bottom of the glass.

“Well, right now I can only offer to listen, but the hotel isn’t far away.”

Dan turns to face him then, their faces dangerously close for being in public.

“What is it you’re proposing?”

Phil darts his glance either way, and when nobody is paying them any mind, quickly pecks Dan on the lips and then on the nose.

“Is this your way of trying to shut me up?” Dan’s voice is barely audible above the music, and he drops his gaze from Phil’s eyes to his lips and back again.

“I was actually thinking you can continue to rant whilst I type out a very honest yet strongly worded review of this bar on TripAdvisor. Would _not_ recommend. Or at least until they change the menu.”

At this, Dan grins. “This is why I love you.”

Phil shrugs. “I have my moments.”

Dan dares to kiss him before sliding off of his lap and gets to his feet, and waits for Phil to do the same. They begin to make their way out of the bar, walking closer together than normal – Phil wants to be close enough that he can catch Dan if he needs to – and Dan nudges Phil’s arm.

“I could be a Princess if I wanted to be.”

“The best Princess there ever was.”

**Author's Note:**

> basically i've wanted to write something based on this since the insta stories dropped from that night and i'm probs the last phanfic author to post one about it but my branding is posting things ages after everyone else we know this, i just couldn't not write anything about it tho it just had to be after i got my uni assignments done. i'm quite proud of this either way tbh
> 
> oh and i saw ii yesterday which probs had something to do with it, and i'm meeting them in four days and i'm not prepared at all, a large portion of my days lately have been spent panicking about it but anyway you don't care about that
> 
> i hope you enjoyed the fic, please leave a kudos and comment and share with anyone you think might like it :)
> 
> follow me on twitter for dnp related tweets and rambles around the clock; @bloggerhowell


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